sleepblogger.
by Renn
I can't believe how sleepy I am.
I haven't felt like this in a while - like I've been up studying for a test and now it's afternoon and I still haven't had any sleep for some reason. I guess once you start work and settle into a routine, those sleepless nights become a thing of the past. The thing with me right now is that Stefan is gone and I find myself feeling afraid to sleep alone in the apartment. It doesn't make any sense because I spent a year living completely by myself in my own place in Philadelphia without having these fears, but I guess I'm spoiled now. I'm used to having someone to fall asleep next to and when I don't, I feel unsafe. I stared at the bedroom door for 15 minutes yesterday, waiting for it to fling open because I could swear I was hearing something coming from the kitchen. My biggest fear has been the power going out (as it so often does) and me having to go out in the snow in my skimpy pajamas so as to avoid a panic attack. God, I'm pathetic.
It's annoying because during the daytime, I actually enjoy being by myself. I've always been the kind of person who is completely fine with spending time alone, even though I am an extrovert. There's just so much to do with that time, I never think it's quite enough. It's why I often feel annoyed when someone on Facebook complains that they're bored: You obviously have WiFi, so go learn a coding language or read about the Titanic, or talk to someone on Chatroulette. Today I will be writing a fan letter to one of my favorite YouTube people. Hopefully I'll get a nice response that I can frame and put on my bedside table. So I've got that to distract me from the fact that the old couple next door is shouting things that you only say right before you grab the shotgun from above that fireplace and end your misery.
I can't believe I have another night of this.
